before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
