Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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