drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
