dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
