Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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