i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My liver just had a heart attack.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
