I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
