So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
