loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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