im holly from the hills drunk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
