Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
