considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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