I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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