I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i believe in u and ur pee
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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