We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
