Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
