They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
