By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
