so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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