Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
too bad you live with your parents still
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
