paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her vagine was all disorganized.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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