I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
