The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
