May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
