Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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