you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
