apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
