Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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