I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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