I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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