do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
