your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
