Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
