Your mouth is God's brothel.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
These tits shall not be calmed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
