My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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