Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
