His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
