talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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