My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
