Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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