totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
