Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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