Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
