Who did Billy Mays play for?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize