You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
