She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
