You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
