that's an acceptable place to lick
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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