my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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