More tranny stories later!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
