she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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